It ain't gots ta b purrfect

“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”   - William Faulkner


I am a perfectionist. This came as surprise to me when I learned this 4 years ago during a leadership class that I was taking. I had always thought of perfectionist as someone who worked and worked and worked until they got something right. I always thought perfectionist were the type of people that took criticism well, because it helped them be better. I am have never been either of those things. If I couldn't do something perfectly, I gave up. If someone criticized me, I gave up. Ask my parents or any of my teachers (I am talking about you Jeff Losch). It wasn't something I realized, but it's the truth.

So, how does someone who needs to be perfect and can't take criticism decide they want to be an author, a profession that is filled with critiquing you for not being perfect? When I take the time to think about it, it all started back when we lived in New York City. This was a difficult time for me. We actually loved where we lived and the fantastic friends that we made. However, I was in a tough job situation. Tough is the wrong word. Miserable. Let's go with that. Any confidence I had in my abilities was gone during that time. I had no belief that I could do anything well at all, ever again. Then one day, a few weeks after I left my job, a friend invited me to play in a soccer league with him. Normally, I would have said no because I didn't want to embarrass myself and hurt the team. But something pushed me to go and it wasn't just Amy. Don't me wrong, she encouraged me to go and try, but something else told me to just do it. So, I did.

Here is the thing. I didn't play that great. I made a lot of mistakes and probably hurt the team at times. That should have crushed me, but it didn't. I even went back and played a few more times with them. I am not sure I ever really contributed to the team, but I enjoyed it. I learned that I didn't have to be perfect to do something. I could just do something, no matter what it was, have fun and grow while doing it. A few months later, I started writing my first book.

Fast forward 5 years later and I am still writing that book. After I sent it to an editor I received intense criticism. And even though it wasn't in a malicious way, it still hurt. I sat on those edits for a long time feeling like I wasn't good enough and I should just stop. Until a few weeks ago when I remembered it didn't need to be perfect. It just needed to be my best. Just like that soccer team in New York City. And here I am today, getting closer to my dream.

Where do I start?

Four years ago Stacy Montgomery changed Dr. Harlan Allred’s life forever. Today, as he prepared for his busy day of seeing his pediatric patients, he had no idea she was about to do it again.

It turns out the start of a book is extremely important. Like make or break important. It's not just the first paragraph or the first chapter, but the first sentence is huge. Above is the first sentence of, "Dying to Live", a novel that I am working on.

That wasn't the first line 5 years ago when I started. Actually, it wasn't the first line until this past Saturday morning around 10:30. Why? Well, because the beginning was too slow. I knew it when I finished the first draft. I knew it when I sent it to family and friends to give me their feedback. I knew it when I sent it to an editor to rip it shreds. I just didn't know how to fix it. I sometimes wonder if I even wanted to fix it. Strange, huh? Well, that's me. I make no sense. If you don't know that by now, that's not my fault. That's on you.

Why did I chose the sentence above to start the novel and hope that people get hooked and can't stop reading? After I sent my first draft an editor (the fantastic Heidi Brockbank at Eschler Editing http://www.eschlerediting.com) she told me about a book called, "Hooked: write fiction that grabs readers at page one and never lets them go." The author, Les Edgerton, has a lot of excellent advice and this is what he says about the first sentence:

"Spend an awful lot of time on this sentence. In fact, more effort should be expended on this sentence than any other line in your story. No kidding. The first sentence is the first thing the readers will see when they open the door of your manuscript or story. Make sure it's a good 'un! One that creates a strong impression."

If I was reading the first lines of my book, I think I would want to know what that means. How did a child change this doctors life? And what was going to happen next that would change his life again? To me that seems interesting. To others? I sure hope so. Although it might be a little terrifying to me to know others think like me.

The stranger didn't shatter Adam's world all at once. That's what Adam Price would tell himself later, but that was a lie. 

How about this one? This is the start of, "The Stranger," by Harlan Coben. Does it hook you? It did for me. Who is this stranger? What happened to Adam's world? What happens next? I need to keep reading!

Here are my questions to you. What matters to you at the beginning of a book? What hooks you? How important are the first lines to you? Do you agree with Les Edgerton? Will you send me some pizza? I like pizza.

Thanks for reading! Now it's back to writing!

Writing and why I do it. Or should do it more.

"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." - G. K. Chesterton

It has been forever. Why you ask? Wait. No one is asking? Not even my mom? That's cool. I am going to answer it anyway. Here are a few reasons.

1) I was in between jobs and then I got one of them there full time gigs. And seeing that it was full time and I have family, I didn't feel I had time. I probably did, but ya know, excuses are fun.

2) After we moved to Montana for said job, we moved one more time to Oregon. That is were we reside at this point in time. When that move happened my desire to write the book I was working on came back! With vengeance! And I felt that whenever I was writing, I needed to spend my time on the book. So, I did. And I finished the first draft and it felt great.

3) After I finished that first draft, our 4th child was born. He spent the first three weeks of this life in the NICU and, because he is blessed to have Down syndrome, we spend a lot of time helping him grow. I, once again, felt I didn't have time to do any sort of writing.

4) Truthfully, I mostly became scared. What if what I write is awful and no one likes it? What if my amazing wife was just telling me it was good, because she wanted to make me happy so we could make out? What if I didn't need her to flatter me to get me to make out with her? What if I would make out with her no matter what cause she is hot and awesome? What are we talking about again? I am distracted, because I want to make out with her right now. Please hold. I am going to go make out with her and I will come back and finish this blog.

I am back. That was awesome. Where was I? Oh yeah, I was scared. I still am scared, but I don't want to be, because I love writing. I love creating. I love seeing where it goes. I love the idea that someday someone might like what I write and recommend to others. Who knows? I sure don't. But, I will never know if I don't try.

So, where does that put me? I am going to blog to keep my writing skills up and continue to write books too. Someday something will happen and I can't wait to see what it is.